The Muse (DISCONTINUED)
by pumpkaboo
Summary: Jack is looking for a path in life, Hiccup is an artist who is looking for a muse. AU. Human Adult Jack Frost. Adult Hiccup. Slight OOC. POV will often jump. Mostly short chapters. M to be safe. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

Jack sat on the park bench, lighting a cigarette. He looked around at the people hurrying by, all so wrapped up in their own worlds. He was glad he wasn't like them. He could stop and 'smell the flowers' as they say.

He yawned before taking a long drag. He pulled his knees up to his chest. Watching people was just too much fun.

...

Hiccup walked down the street. He wasn't overly busy. He was just people watching. Studying their movements, looking at the way they talked, expressed themselves. The important things. While walking by. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a platinum blonde smoking on a park bench. "Oh my gods..." he lowered his glasses, peering over at the blonde. "He's perfect."

He brushed his clothes down and walked over, hoping to feel less insecure. On the outside he was the perfect definition of the word stoic. As he approached the blonde, he realized that he hadn't noticed him. He hadn't even looked his way. "Hi" he said, feeling unstoppable.

The blonde looked up at him and smiled. "Huh... so I'm not quite invisible" he murmured.

Hiccup had zero idea what that meant, but he ignored the comment. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Will you model for me?"

The blonde seemed surprised. "Huh... Are you a clothes designer or something?" he asked.

"No, I am an artist."

"Huh. Are you well known?"

"Is that all that matters?"

"Not particularly. I just feel that once I accept your amazing offer, the conversation will be over until we have a date for me to model."

Hiccup smiled. "I have time to talk."

"So, you aren't out all day-"

"I feel as though I hit the jackpot."

His new muse smiled.

"Well," Hiccup reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. My studio address. Feel free to stop by any time."

He nodded.

"What was your name?"

"Jack."

"Hiccup." He held his hand out, which Jack shook. "Well, I hope to see you at the studio."

Jack nodded. "For sure." He looked at the card. "Hiccup Haddok. The Studio. Original-" he looked up to see the auburn haired man gone. He pocketed the card and lit another cigarette.


	2. Chapter 2

After a week of procrastinating, Jack finally decided to visit Hiccup's studio. He imagined it to be the size of a small, open-planned apartment with pictures of the walls with expensive price tags, but he was surprised that when he arrived at the address, it was an old department store. He knocked on the door, which creaked open.

He walked inside, surprised by what he saw. People loitering around, some smoking, a couple in the corner making out, a couple of people looking at a few sketches on the walls, and of course, Hiccup was there, sitting in the middle of it all, surrounded by sketches, a blonde female sitting next to him.

"No... I don't think that will work Hiccup" she said, seeming slightly annoyed. "This is serious-"

"Astrid, it will be fine" he said calmly, strangely reassuring.

She sighed. "It better be." She punched his arm and stood up. "Oh. You have a visitor." She walked past Jack and out the door which closed with a thud.

The kissing couple looked after her and followed her out.

Hiccup walked over to Jack. "Hi. Glad you made it. I have been waiting for you."

"You have?"

Hiccup nodded. "I knew you would eventually show up."

Jack grabbed the cigarette that was propped behind his ear. "May I?"

"Please do."

Jack lit the cigarette, taking a long drag before exhaling.

Hiccup nodded. "Perfect. You look beautiful. Camera."

Jack frowned, confused.

A guy with long blonde hair who looked like the girl from the make-out corner walked over, passing Hiccup the camera. "I'm heading home."

Hiccup nodded. He fiddled around with the settings and when Jack took another drag, Hiccup took the photo.

Jack blinked several times from the brightness of the flash.

Hiccup smiled, happy with his photo. "Right, I should probably introduce you to some of the people around here. The kissing couple, Snot and Ruff. The camera guy is Tuff, and that over there is Eret.

"Are they artists too?" Jack asked, looking around.

"No. They just hang around here." He beckoned to Jack who followed him towards the back of the building. "So, this is where the magic happens."

Jack looked around the photographs outside of the dark room. "Wow... you're a great photographer."

"Thank you." Hiccup stood closer. "I would like you to be in more of them."

Jack nodded, dropping the forgotten cigarette to the ground and stomping it out.

Hiccup watched him the whole time. Every movement Jack made was beautiful. Ethereal. He made his way over to where Astrid and he had been sitting earlier. He looked at his sketch and shook his head. "Not good enough" he mumbled.

Jack walked over, looking around at the large area. He sat down in front of Hiccup. "So... how long have you been doing..." he beckoned around. "This."

"Uh... About five years. I was fifteen. Yeah."

"You owned this place at fifteen?"

"Correction, I rented this place at fifteen and still do." Hiccup looked around. "So, how long have you been homeless for?"

"How did you-?"

"Well, I saw you sitting on that bench again."

"I might just like that particular bench."

"I also saw you sleeping on it."

He shrugged. "I was probably just drunk."

"You can stay in here with us."

"I couldn't inconvenience you-"

"It's no inconvenience. I promise."

Jack nodded. "Okay."

Hiccup nodded. "Good. I will show you around properly."


	3. Chapter 3

"You going to put him in one of your pornos?" Ruff teased, Tuff joining in to laugh.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Just because people are naked doesn't make it porn" he groaned. "Its art." He finished setting up the video camera.

"Whatever."

"You just wish you were joining him" Tuff snickered.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "I'm not even filming him, I'm filming all of us."

"Ew. Why?"

Hiccup sighed, rubbing his temples. "I just wanted to capture a day on film." He looked through the screen, making sure it covered the whole area. Well, most of it anyway.

He walked over to one of his work benches and picked up his sketchbook and graphite.

"You gonna draw your boyfriend?" Ruff asked.

"He isn't my boyfriend-"

"Yet" the twins laughed.

"-and yes, I am going to draw him." He walked into the old staff area where there were many mattresses lay on the floor, all made up as beds. He sat next to the bed Jack slept in. The blonde tended to sleep in, perhaps it was simply because he had a safe place to sleep now.

Jack was quiet when he slept. You wouldn't even know he was breathing, except the occasional rise and fall of his chest. He rarely even moved around in his sleep.

"Hiccup?"

His eyes widened and he looked around at a confused looking Astrid.

"What are you doing?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"Sketching."

"Huh. Anyway, you just got another call. Rent is due. Well, the last three months of rent is due. What was that great plan you told me about two weeks ago? Have you even thought about it?"

"I have an exhibit on soon. I will make money there."

"Will you really? C'mon, you have to be realistic about this. Do you really think people are going to buy your sketches of Jack sleeping?"

He sighed. "It's fine. I got this, okay?"

She sighed. "You lose this place, where are you going to go? Back home? What about Jack? Does he know that you are in financial debt?"

"He doesn't have to know."

She sighed. "Well... whatever. Just... don't whinge to me when you screw up, okay?"

"Wouldn't dare."

She frowned. "I'm trusting you right now."

"I know."

She shook her head and walked out.

Hiccup sighed. He set the sketchbook down and walked out of the room.

...

Jack opened his eyes, hoping they had no idea he was awake the whole time. He slowly sat up, absorbing the information he had unintentionally received. How much money did Hiccup owe? Three months worth of debt seemed a lot. He was kicked out of the apartment he rented for not paying for six weeks. His landlord was an asshole anyway.

He stood up, stubbing his toe on one of Hiccup's sketchbooks. He picked up the book, flicking through the pages. He smiled when he realized most of them were of himself. Hiccup made him look beautiful. Living on the streets had made him feel unattractive and invisible. But Hiccup made him feel the total opposite. He set the book back down and made made his way into the studio.

"Good morning" he said tiredly.

"Uh, try afternoon" Ruff said, sitting on a bar stool. She sipped at her cup of coffee.

"Well, good afternoon."

She nodded. "Afternoon." She looked over at Hiccup. "Why was Astrid in such a bad mood before? What did you say?"

"She was just asking me about stuff. The usual."

"She acts like your mother" Ruff laughed. "Hey, so I met this person" she added quickly. "They wanna come by tomorrow and see your work. Pretty sure they are looking to make a purchase too."

"What time?"

"I dunno. Like, two?"

"Okay."

"Why? You going out or something?"

"No, just wanted to know."

"Awesome, so I'll tell 'em yeah?"

"Of course."

She nodded, pulling a phone from her bag and slipped off the stool, walking out the front door.

Jack sat next to Hiccup. "Uh... I don't mean to pry into business that isn't mine-"

"You overhead Astrid and me, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did."

He just nodded.

"It's gotta be hard. I mean, is that what you two were arguing about the day I came here?"

"Yeah."

"Well, how about I help out?"

"What?"

"Well, I live here too."

"Yeah, for two weeks. Anyway... I don't want to take your money."

"Well, I'm not homeless anymore. I am happy to help out. How much do you owe."

"Uh... almost ten thousand dollars."

"I will pay it for you."

"Why?"

Jack shrugged. "I live here to. You have been good to me Hiccup. Anyway, with all the people who live here you really need to set rent agreements."

"You think?"

"Um, yes. I'll help you write them up. Seriously. If they don't want to pay rent, they probably shouldn't be here."

"I think that is a fair point."

"I mean, I'm not trying to manage your life, but... I just know what its like to screw it up."

"Yeah, you wouldn't want to manage his life. That's Astrid's job" Tuff laughed, sitting down next to them. "So, why are we talking about managers?"

"Rent money" Jack said bluntly.

Hiccup shook his head. He leaned close to Jack's ear. "You will have to ease them into the idea" he whispered.

Jack nodded. "Okay."

"Seriously, this is going to be the most boring movie ever" Tuff groaned.

"What movie?" Jack asked, brows furrowed.

"Oh, that" Hiccup pointed at the set up camera.

Jack nodded." Cool. It will be like a study in economics."

"Look, I am so confused right now-"

Hiccup shook his head. "Don't worry about it Tuff."

"Okay." He lay on the ground. "We totally need more seat things. Maybe like bean bags."

"No way. If they burst they are the worst to clean up."

"How would you know Jack?"

"I've had some shit jobs before. I'm older than you think I am."

"How old are you?

"Twenty five."

"Really?" Tuff grinned. "You look like your a seventeen year old hipster."

Jack couldn't help but snort at Tuff, who chuckled.

"I thought you were only like eighteen" Hiccup admitted.

"Really?"

"You look young."

"Well, only seven years over eighteen, right?"

Tuff nodded. "Saying that sounds old."

Jack shook his head.

The doors opened and an older lady walked in, followed by Astrid. Astrid was talking enthusiastically about Hiccup's art.

Hiccup stood up and walked over to the lady. "Hi, how are you?" he smiled.

Jack smiled. Hiccup was so ridiculously charming.

Tuff rolled his eyes. "You guys are so in love."

Jack rolled his eyes. "No... we have never spoke about it."

"Huh. There you go." He stood up. "I'm going to get a burger, want one?"

"Sure, I'll go with you" he nodded.

He nodded and they walked to the door.

"Oh, so this is Jack?" the lady asked.

Jack looked around at her.

Astrid frowned at Jack as he approached, so he stopped walking about eight foot from them. Hiccup beckoned him over. "Don't be shy."

Jack walked closer, standing next to Hiccup.

"So, you're the man in all these sketches?"

"Yes. That is me" he smiled.

Seeing that smile, Hiccup fell in love again. There was something so beautiful about Jack's face. He just smiled stupidly at Jack, watching him talk to Mrs. Jacobson.

"So, I just try to capture that youthfulness I was so used to seeing every day in my classroom" Jack finished. "I only taught for a year, but it was the best year of my life. I would love to teach again" he smiled. "But for now, I will be glad to make ends meet."

Jack was a teacher? He was just full of surprises.

Mrs. Jacobson looked at the artworks again, ending up with two landscape photographs.

Hiccup opened his laptop and printed a receipt as she handed over cash. "Thank you" he smiled.

"More than welcome Hiccup. It was nice talking to you Jack."

"Likewise" he smiled, bowing his head a little out of habit.

She smiled and took her leave.

"So, you just have people coming in randomly?"

"Astrid takes it seriously. She tends to find people who are art inclined and looking for a piece or two and brings them back here." He leaned against the bench. "So, you're a teacher, huh?"

"Yeah. Yeah I was."

"Was?"

"I filled in for maternity leave two years ago, and then when she came back I didn't have a job. I was sure I would find another, but I didn't. I tried to look for another job and I just... It's a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be, so I just cut my losses." He shrugged.

"And twenty five. I didn't realize."

"I'm too old to be attractive now, aren't I" he said, putting on a mock sad face.

Hiccup laughed and shook his head. "No."

He smiled. "You mean it?"

"I sure do." He leaned against the bench. "So... You really like this place, huh?"

"Yeah, I do. The rent has risen considerably since I first started renting. This area used to be considered the... not so great part of town. Then people with money started buying up places and before I knew it the rent had almost tripled over the last few years."

"Have you thought of looking for an alternative?"

"No, he hasn't" said Astrid.

Jack looked away. She really did intimidate him.

"So, how much?"

"Five hundred and eighty."

"I'll deposit it at the bank."

He nodded.

Jack watched her curiously.

"What do you want Frost?" she asked.

His eyes widened in surprise. "Nothing" he shook his head. "Its nothing."

She raised a brow.

"Seriously Astrid, so you have a problem with me?" he asked, feeling anxious.

"Not yet." She placed the money in her bag and walked out.

"Hiccup, do you really trust her with your money?" Jack asked curiously.

"I do. Why?"

Jack shook his head. "It's nothing."

Hiccup frowned. "Jack-"

"I didn't mean anything by it."

"Okay. I was just curious."

Jack sat up on the bench, looking down a few inches at Hiccup. He smiled. "I know you two are close. I just... I think she is intimidating" he shrugged.

"I don't want you to feel intimidated."

"She is like, the alpha around here. She bosses you around."

"I don't think Jack is wrong" said Tuff, passing him the coffee. "Y'know, I got you one even though you ditched me."

"Sorry Tuff" Jack said, shoulders shrugging in apology. He took a sip.

Tuff nodded, accepting it. "So, did Mrs. Jacobson want to sleep with you?"

Jack looked at his wide -eyed. "What?"

"Heard she likes the twink look" he sniggered.

"Yeah, she does" said Hiccup. "I am surrpised she didn't buy any pictures of you."

"Um... but 'Mrs'-" Jack started, only to be cut off by Hiccup.

"Oh, she just goes by that. Her husband died... Three years ago I think. She is old money who hires cute twink rent boys to go with her to art gallery openings, opera nights... anything old money does as entertainment she takes one."

"Thought she'd make an offer on you" Tuff chuckled.

"Is that why you invited me for coffee?"

"Yep. Save you from her."

Jack laughed. "Sorry. Didn't know that was the plan. I wonder how old money she is. I have never met her."

"Why would you know?" Tuff asked confused.

"Oh, its nothing" Jack shrugged. "Just... yeah" he sighed. "I have no idea where I was going with that."

Astrid walked back in. "Hiccup."

"Yeah?"

"Saw your landlord at the bank so I transferred some money over, is that okay?"

"Of course. Thanks."

"Wait, Astrid has permission to do that. With your money? Your account?" Jack asked, horrified.

"Well, we were engaged for two years, and we thought we would get married, so we shared accounts. That is the only shared account now."

"You two were engaged?"

Astrid smirked. "Jealous, Frost?"

"Um, not really. I'm sure he can do better."

"Oh shit. You're so fucking dead" Tuff warned, but instead Astrid just laughed. "Oh yeah? Someone who looks like they walked the streets-"

"I didn't, actually, I just wanted to get away from my controlling, abusive father. Anywhere was better than New York."

"You're from New York?" Hiccup asked, staring at the platinum blonde.

"I sure am. Glad I'm not going back." He walked out to the old storeroom cum bedroom and slammed the door.

Tuff bit his lip. "Wow. You two both fucked up."

Hiccup looked at Astrid. "Okay, I get it. You don't like him. But you're the one who moved on, not me. Why do you hate him?"

"He is like a little leech. he is just going to suck-"

"Your dick" Tuff snickered.

Astrid ignored him. "-all the life and money out of you and he will leave you washed up and you will wish you never, ever spoke to him. You think he is so cute and can do no wrong. Well, let's see how long it lasts before he fucks you over." She turned and walked out of the building.

Tuff looked at Hiccup. "All this cause you brought a twink home. Well shit, still a better reaction than what your father'd give you huh?"

"Yeah, can't fault that logic" he sighed.

"Um... You want me to talk to Jack?"

"Think it might be better to leave him alone for a while. I don't want to make the tension worse in here."

Tuff nodded. He looked at the coffee cup that Jack had set down and picked it up. "Um... you want it? Still full."

Hiccup nodded. "Yeah, I think I need it after all this."


	4. Chapter 4

Jack knew it was childish but he didn't want to leave the bed. It had been about two hours, judging from the clock that hung lopsided on the wall. It wasn't the only thing on the wall. Near each mattress was photographs, nudes from porn magazines, sticky notes, shopping lists... it just depended on the person.

He rolled onto his stomach, chin on his folded arms. He decided he was being childish, she made his way out to the main studio in just briefs.

Hiccup looked around at him, swallowing thickly. "Oh, are you feeling better?"

Jack just nodded, lying on the white faux leather lounge, legs dangling over the edge.

"If it weren't for those underwear he would be in perfect camouflage" Tuff noted.

Hiccup nodded. Jack was the definition of 'perfect', 'beautiful' and ethereal' in his opinion. He picked up his camera, swallowing his nerves, and looked at the ground. He couldn't being himself to look at Jack's gorgeous face while he asked. "Can I photograph you?"

"Yeah. Whatever you want" he replied, a small smile, although seemingly forced.

"I am sorry about earlier. I should have intervened."

"I don't care" he lied.

Hiccup bit his lip, adjusting the settings on his camera before taking the photo. He seemed happy with the result. "Camera" he said to Tuff, who passed him his film camera. He fiddled with the settings before taking a few photographs.

Jack looked up at him, lips open a little, almost as if to ask a question, but Hiccup took another photo.

"My Gods you know how to make a guy feel... aroused" he blushed, whispering the last word.

Jack actually smiled, a genuine smile.

"So beautiful" murmured Hiccup. He passed the camera to Tuff who offered the SLR back, but Hiccup shook his head. "Enough for now."

Jack looked at Hiccup and swallowed. "Want me to fix that?" he asked, looking to his crotch.

Hiccup blushed. "Uh... No... Its okay. Thanks though." he scurried awkwardly to the bathroom.

"He is such a weirdo. Still" Tuff chuckled, sitting at the end of the lounge. "What did you say to him?"

Just tilted his head back. "I just offered to go down on him" he shrugged.

"Fuck, he knocked you back?"

"Maybe I came on too strong. I just... thought... He might like it."

"Pretty sure you just gave him some sort of fuel for a breakdown" he teased.

Jack sat up. "I should learn to keep my mouth shut."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't want Hiccup to feel awkward just cause I can't stop thinking about him." He chuckled. "That is a bit much, isn't it?"

"Maybe."

He sighed, pulling his knees up to his chest. "I just... don't want to be a dick and ruin our friendship... is it counted as friendship if you pose for photos every now and again?"

"Sure" Tuff shrugged.

"Or maybe a business partnership?" he added joking.

"Both" Tuff decided. "Don't ask too many more hard questions. Don't think I can handle it. So... you're from New York?"

"I am."

"Huh. I don't feel like I would have picked you as someone from New York."

He shrugged. "I don't want to feel like someone who is."

"You don't like it there?"

"My family is there."

"Sorry."

He leaned his forehead against his knees. "It sounds stupid, but... I am afraid of my family."

"That is why Astrid intimidates you? Y'know, some sort of power trip thing."

He shrugged.

"I won't pry. Just tell me to fuck off. It ain't none of my business anyway."

Jack chuckled, looking sideways at him. "No... I just find it hard to talk about them."

"Uh... so why did you do teaching?"

"I picked something that would spite my family. It worked. I chose teaching. I still went to university, but picked teaching because it wasn't something to do with law, business or finance."

"Your family are business owners?"

"You could say that. They are, well... like... my grandfather was an industrialist and his father was a businessman and my father is too. Fuck, I wouldn't even know what he does." He shook his head.

Hiccup walked back out, a post-orgasm glow about him. He sat down on the floor in front of them.

Tuff looked at Hiccup. "I have nothing to say to you."

Hiccup looked up at him, surprised. "Uh... may I ask why?"

"You said no to a BJ. The hell is wrong with you?"

His face turned bright red and he looked at Jack, who bit his lip, and then back at Tuff.

"Here I am wishing someone would blow me, but nope, here you are going 'round saying no."

"It isn't like that."

He looked at Tuffs incredulous glare.

"Uh, maybe it is."

"Jack was just telling me all about his life" he said. "Can you believe he is from New York?"

"I was there when he mentioned it before."

"Seriously, nothing like a New Yorker."

"Uh-"

"Anyway, I am heading out. You'll have to find someone else to hand you your camera" he joked.

Hiccup shook his head, smiling. "Saw your sister at the diner by the way."

"She went without me? Fuck" he shrugged anyway, and made his way out.

Jack frowned. "Sorry about that."

He sat on the lounge where Tuff had been. "Don't apologize. I just..." he sighed. "I don't know. I don't like being exposed. I don't know. I guess I just... don't feel attractive."

Jack gasped. "What?"

"You heard me."

"I know, that was for comedic affect. You are gorgeous" he said, almost breathlessly.

"You really think so?" he asked quietly.

"I do. I really like you" he said softly.

Hiccup smiled, inside he was a nervous wreck. Jack had just admitted to him, and he couldn't tell him how much he liked him back. He swallowed. "Yeah."

Jack bit his lip. "Sorry."

"No, I am... I'm a fucking wreck right now. I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my whole life. I just look at you and know I am not good enough for you."

"That is where you are wrong, Hiccup. I am not good enough for you. You have this... beautiful soul and a kind heart... I don't" he said, a little harshly. "My life... hasn't been great, but... you approaching me that day..." he chuckled. "I thought you were going to solicit me for sex" he admitted.

"Were you?"

"What?"

"A sex worker?"

"No. No I wasn't. But I had plenty of propositions. Turned every fuck down" he sighed. "Thank god."

Hiccup nodded.

He looked at him. "So..."

"Date me" Hiccup asked, looking at the floor, red faced.

"Of course. Like you needed to ask" Jack smiled, kissing Hiccup's cheek. "I don't want to hear you say that you aren't attractive. You have no idea what I want to do with you."

Hiccup smiled awkwardly, well, really, it was just his usual smile. Jack was in love with it, however, and kissed Hiccup, pushing the younger of the two down and continuing the kiss. He could feel Hiccup's hands all over his back, rubbing along bare skin.

"If you get me hard, you better get me off" Jack breathed.

"I will. Promise." In Hiccup's mind, Jack's body was godlike and needed worshiping. He would love to do everything to that body. He just needed more confidence.

Jack practically rutted against him, kisses were sloppy and messy, and his hand wandered over Hiccup's still clothed chest. He pulled the green turtleneck up, exposing his chest. He licked a line from Hiccup's bellybutton to his Adam's apple.

Hiccup moaned and bucked against Jack. "Fuck" he moaned.

"If you don't like anything, tell me and I will stop" Jack said.

Hiccup nodded. He couldn't imagine not liking anything Jack would do to him. And holy shit, the way Jack looked at him made him actually feel beautiful. He had never felt like that in his life.

Jack looked at him, panting. "Okay, I am so ready to-"

The door of the studio slammed shut.

Jack looked over at Astrid, who had just walked back in.

"We have a bedroom for a reason" she hissed, eyes burning through Jack. "Anyway, you could have had a buyer come in and see you" she added, looking straight at Hiccup who was suddenly ashamed that he had let such primal desire get in the way of his normal, boring life.

Jack pulled Hiccup's shirt back down and scurried off, embarrassed. The last person he would have wanted to been caught by was Astrid.

"You're right" he heard Hiccup say to Astrid. He stopped in his tracks and looked around.

Astrid raised a brow. "About the buyer thing?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let that get in the way."

"Damn straight." She walked towards the bedroom and glared at Jack as she opened the door to the bedroom.

Jack walked over to Hiccup. "Really?"

"She is right Jack."

"Shit. Your relationship with her is worse than I thought. Pass me your turtleneck."

Hiccup obliged, taking it off.

Jack took it and pulled it over his smaller frame. It went half way down his thighs, and that was all that mattered. He ran. He pushed the door open, ignoring whatever Hiccup was yelling out, and ran into the street.

A few people stared at him, but probably thought he was some strung out student/mentally unstable member of society.

He ran as far as he could, not even looking back. It wasn't until he bumped into someone he never expected to see that he stopped. "Ana?"

Toothiana, a family friend of his, looked at him. "Jack?! What are you doing here?" she asked, grinning.

"I live here."

"Oh my god! No fucking way! I moved here recently."

"No shit?"

"Your family don't stop talking about you. Why don't you go back?"

He looked at the ground. He had never been honest with her about what this family was like. He was scared of what she would think. Her family and his family had been friends for generations. "I just... don't have time."

"You look exhausted. And where are your pants you beautiful man" she chuckled.

"I had... I wanted... Long story short I wanted to go outside."

She nodded. "Fair enough. You wanna grab coffee with me?"

"Sure."

He walked with her to a cafe he frequented. "I like it here" he smiled.

"So its nice? I haven't had much time to get out. I have only been here... four days? When your unpacking the days all become one" she chuckled.

"I know that feeling."

"I heard you did teaching at university? What did your father say?"

Jack looked down. He didn't want to talk about his father. "Pretty sure he was pissed."

"Oh... why? Wasn't he proud of you?"

"He has a weird way of showing it."

She looked at him weirdly. "Jack, what is going on?"

"Nothing."

"Why do you sound so bitter? Didn't your father provide you tuition and pay for your board? Shouldn't you be grateful?"

He started trembling, his breathing getting heavy.

"Jack?!" she gasped.

He started sobbing. Ugly sobbing. Loud and blubbering. "I don't want to talk about my father!"

She suddenly felt like an awful person. She had no idea what was going on in his life. She hadn't seen him since he was seventeen or eighteen and that was a good eight years or so ago. She rubbed his back. "Jack... Jack bub, I am so sorry."

"Ana, you don't understand."

"No... I can't say I do."

"You don't know shit about my family."

"Jack?" she was worried now. Whatever she had done had set her friend off. "Bub, I'm listening, please talk to me."

"I can't talk about it" he hissed out. "I came here to get away from all that shit." He turned and walked out of the coffee shop, leaving Toothiana speechless.

...

A/N: Wow, that escalated quickly. Anyway, possbile trigger warning for the next chapter, abuse.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Trigger warning: Abuse.

Jack didn't want to be a miserable piece of shit, but he couldn't even drag his sorry ass out of bed for more than five minutes for the next week

Hiccup would come in and talk to him, but when Jack wouldn't talk, he would soon leave.

The general mood was a downer. Jack knew it. It was only a matter of time before Astrid kicked him out or some other shit. Maybe she would tell Hiccup she was right. Jack didn't even care anymore.

All he could do was question thing. Why did Ana come into his life again? She was a close friend of his growing up. She was older than him by a few years, his guess was between six and ten years, he couldn't remember for the life of him. Her family weren't old money, but her father had come into money down Florida way after he had moved to the States. Jack didn't know the details. When he was younger he didn't care. He just wanted a friend and Ana was that friend. She was the first one he came out to, the one who gave him advice, would lend him her old clothes so he could cross-dress and she had bought him his first dildo when he was seventeen.

The thing was, no matter how close they were, he had never, ever told her about his relationship with his parents. She knew nothing about the twisted secrets and the abuse that had spanned his whole life.

He rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. He really hated that it was black. Made him feel so alone, and small... insignificant. He wanted to be someone. He had always wanted to be. Now he was just tiny, small, insignificant Jackson Overland-Frost. Failed teacher, failed homeowner (did renting count as home-owning? Probably not. Not that it mattered.), failed lover. He had to show Hiccup that he still loved him. That he wanted to be with the artist forever. But he could hardly even speak. He was paralyzed by the fear that was his family. Would Ana call them and ask them what was wrong with him? Would she tell them how erratically he had acted in a public place? A coffee shop of all places!

"How do you know my bub?"

He blinked. Sounded just like Ana. He could even hear her in his thoughts. Crazy.

"He lives here."

"What?! Where is he?!"

He blinked a few times. "Ana?" he muttered.

The door opened, revealing Hiccup and Toothiana.

"Oh bub" she gasped, sounding so relieved. "Oh god I was so worried about you" she said, starting to cry. She rushed over to him and kissed his forehead. "Can you please tell Toothie what's wrong?" she cooed.

"No... can't."

Hiccup walked over and sat next to him. "She saw your photos and flipped" he chuckled.

"I didn't know you had such a charming a boyfrined" she giggled at Jack.

He looked up at Hiccup, smiling.

"I didn't tell her anything."

"Oh, you aren't?"

"We are" Jack and Hiccup said at the same time.

"Aww, that is just too cute!" she squealed. "How did you meet?"

"He was sleeping on a park bench-"

"What?! Why isn't your father-?"

"Stop bring up my fucking father!" he snapped. "That asshole can burn in fucking hell for all I fucking care!"

She gasped. "What did he do to you?"

Hiccup had never seen Jack look that way. He was angry, and quite frankly, he was worried about him.

"That asshole... can die" he panted. "I will kill him myself one day."

She but her lip. She knew she had opened a can of worms. She pulled him into a seating position and leaned his head against her small chest. She rubbed circles on his back, calming him down enough. "Bub, please talk to me. I love you and I don't want you to hurt anymore."

He shook his head. "I can't." He looked at Hiccup.

"Do you want me to go?" Hiccup asked.

"No... when I talk, you can listen."

He nodded.

He beckoned to Hiccup, who leaned over. Jack pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry I have been so useless all week."

He sighed. "Don't feel that way. We have our shit days. Or weeks. No biggie."

"You are so kind and gentle. That is what I love about you."

He smiled. "Jack-"

"And one day I will tell you... fuck it... I'll talk. Just don't tell." He looked at Toothiana. "Please don't call my parents."

"Jack, I won't. I promise."

"Thank you. I don't want to deal with the aftermath. Well... guess I'm supposed to start at at the beginning. That is where all 'good' stories start, right?"

Tooth just rubbed his back before nodding, although her expression was hard to read.

Hiccup held his hand, giving it a small squeeze.

Jack nodded. "So... Ana, you know, Hiccup, you didn't, but I come from old money. Old, old money. My father is some big CEO or some shit, I don't fucking remember, and my mother was a model and socialite. You know, typical shit family. When she had me she retired. Had y sister a few years later."

Ana looked down. "R.I.P little angel" she whispered. She had adored the young girl as though she was her own little sister.

Hiccup heard Ana and looked at Jack. "What-?"

"She died" Jack said with little emotion, but all the emotions he could feel came bubbling up inside him. Anger, sadness, depression that he just couldn't escape. He also felt relief. In a way, she had been the lucky one. "Fuck it... I don't know if I can." He shuffled down, lying his head in Ana's lap. She petted his soft hair. "Hiccup, can you... I want you to rub my back."

Hiccup shuffled over and rubbed his boyfriends pale back. He planted kisses up the spine.

"Mm" Jack smiled. "Better" he reached for Hiccup's hand, who grasped his. He felt stronger. "My father had me and my sister home-schooled and we were both taken care of by nannies from the day we were born. Our days were strict and regimented. We rarely left the house. To be honest, I felt like I never saw much of my mother. When I was older I found out she was doing stints in rehab for cocaine and alcohol abuse." He breathed in. "My father was around a little but... I guess he was at work heaps." He breathed, trying to regain normal breathing. "I was so scared of him. He was so intimidating." The grip on Hiccup's hand became almost vice like. He felt so open and vulnerable. "I walked in on my father having a threesome with two other women when I was around twelve. My mother was in rehab again... and he just looked at me as though he would kill me. I was so scared I had a panic attack. I told mum when she got home and my father said that I was making it up and that it never happened. He said that I was... I can't remember. They took me to the hospital and I was so hysterical that they wouldn't listen to me that they gave me a shot... and I fell asleep. I woke up in the hospital. All they wanted was to stick a diagnosis on me. Bipolar. Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know. In my mind it was just so my father could get away with whatever he wanted to do. I was just a twelve year old who was scared to death. That wasn't the only time I caught him cheating. Soon enough he was... I am so sure that was why she died..."

Ana gasped, putting two and two together. "Are you saying your father abused your sister?"

"I walked in on it" he started sobbing again. "She was crying and... it was the worst thing. I will never get it out of my memory. Never. She was so young and... it was awful." Jack touched his ribs. "They broke because I wasn't strong enough to run away and find one of his guns and shoot him. He was so rough and..."

"Did he do it to you too?" she asked anger flicked through her eyes.

"No. No... just the physical beatings. It was enough to get mom to question what happened to me. But he brushed it off. When my sister was... twelve that was when she... She didn't kill herself. Fuck that. Dad killed her cause she threatened to speak out. I knew she was going to say something" he wiped his puffy eyes. "I didn't think she would do it. She wanted to get help. I have a psychiatric record. I'm a fucking not job, apparently, and I make up will stories for attention. Yep. That is what they all think of me. I was surprised I was able to become a teacher. Thought they'd look at me and know I was a fuck up. Apparently that isn't the case." He sighed at his disjointed story. "The coroners report said that it was suicide. Apparently she had overdosed on some meds that were in my name, which can't be right. I was never prescribed medication when I was sixteen. It was when I started college they made me... I didn't take it. I would get the 'script filled and I would sell the tablets at college. I guess they meant to put moms name on the report... but I still know he did it. They said they found 'unidentified semen' at the scene. I know he raped her. We never left the house, she didn't know any guys. All my father had to do was to pay them off. They never tested his sperm, and they never tested mine. Soon enough it was back to emotional abuse. 'you're a piece of shit', 'you'll never amount to anything'... Once dad found out I was gay... he said you mentioned it" he looked up at Ana who gasped. "They found someone who would do aversion therapy-"

"Are you fucking joking?" she asked, horrified.

"No. Why would I? My father wanted me to be straight." He sat up. "I am going to throw up."

Hiccup helped him up and half dragged, half awkwardly stumbling until they reached the bathroom. Jack threw up, although there wasn't much. Just the water he had drank earlier and the slightly toast Ruff had brought him.

"Sorry" he said, looking around at his two companions.

Ana looked at him. "I am so sorry. I had no idea."

"In my family everything is a well kept secret. Like my drug addiction. After my sister died I started taking my moms meds. She was too out of it to know. Soon enough I was taking anything I could get my hands on. When my father found out he had be thrown in rehab like he did when he couldn't handle my mom." He leaned his head against the wall. "I was there for three whole months getting clean. I was surprised when I came out and didn't crave drugs again. I didn't ever want to repeat that part of my life. I had these awful track marks up my arm and I looked like shit. I lost like, almost thirty pounds. I was surprised no one noticed sooner."

"How long did it go on for?"

"A year? Maybe eighteen months. I was out in time to start university."

"Oh god Jack, I really had no idea. This whole time..." she sighed. "I am so sorry."

"It doesn't matter. Its in the past." He stood up as wobbly as a baby fawn. "I am going back to bed."

"Careful" Hiccup said, trying not to coddle his boyfriend, but helped him back to bed.

"I told you I wasn't... good enough for you."

Hiccup shook his head. "Not even. You're perfect. You know, you rose above all that shit and you know what? That is amazing. I think I find you even more inspiring "

Jack smiled weakly. "Really?"

Hiccup nodded. "Yeah. I do."

Jack flopped down onto the bed. "Thank you."

Ana walked in. "Jack... I am so sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't know."

She approached the bed slowly. "Jack... did you ever want to tell me?" she asked cautiously.

"No."

She sat down next to him. "Jack... I wish this had never happened to you."

He nodded. "Things just get set in motion. Before I knew it I was no longer at home. While I was there, when I was growing up it all happened so slowly, but now I look back" he sighed. "I really just want to sleep."

She nodded. "I understand." She stood up. "While I have you here... And now that i know you model... would you like to model some of my designs?"

He looked up at Hiccup who nodded.

"Yeah, okay."

"Good. Great. I have a photographer already, is that okay?" she looked at Hiccup.

"Course. If you ever need a back up-"

"Thanks. You're a sweetie, Hiccup. Feel free to attend the shoots too."

He nodded. He felt a strange twist in his gut. Suddenly the idea of Jack modeling for someone else didn't sound like such a good idea. Not when Jack was so vulnerable.

...

A/N: Wow, not as bad as I originally planned, which is nice, but still. This story kinds has a mind of its own now that I have some time to smash out a few chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone!

Yep, just me. I really just wanting to apologize but I will be discontinuing this story. I'm not happy with the direction it's going, and I wrote it during a really shitty time. Sorry to anyone who is actually reading it! I want to rewrite it eventually the way I wanted it to be.

Warmest regards,

Pumpkaboo x


End file.
